Michael has a fine post on the characteristics of weak leaders. The post could have been an addendum to “The Oz Principle.”
The staff of Grace Church had a quick 24 hour retreat together. It was a great time together and yet I’ve never returned from one of these more emotionally drained. We spent the time answering these questions and helping each other answering them honestly:
1) How is the way that I am doing the work of God affecting the work of God in me?
2) What is the singular way that I add value to this team?
3) What is it about my leadership, that if I keep doing, will hold the church back?
4) Who are the people you need to surround yourself with?
5) After all the denial, what am I doing that is no longer working?
Like I said, this retreat was emotionally draining. But it was great to do this experience with people who already know my faults and love me any how. As we continue to grow numerically as a church, our staff is going to need to continue to grow in our capacity to be honest with each other and to show grace.
I love the people I work with.
I was up early this morning building a side bar for a future Children’s Ministry Magazine article on The Mentoring Project. The article features an interview with Dr. John Sowers and a few thoughts from Donald Miller. I got on www.youversion.com this morning and did a quick survey of the phrase “widow and orphan.”
Confession: The Epistle of James aside, I had no idea just how closely God connects the care of the single mom and her children with his worship. Take a look at this incomplete list of scriptures…
Deuteronomy 10:13 While describing true worship, God reminds his people that he ensures justice for the widow and orphan. The inference is that Israel should do the same.
Deuteronomy 16:9 God commands that the widow and orphan not be excluded from a sacred worship festival.
Deuteronomy 24:19-21 God commands farmers to not harvest all of their crops, so the widows and orphans could pick their own food and survive.
Deuteronomy 26:8 God ordained a special offering to be given to widows and orphans every three years. God again connects the care of single moms and their children with worship.
Ezekiel 22 Ezekiel relays God’s lengthy complaint against Israel. Not caring for the widow and the orphan is on their list of injustices. Ezekiel’s indictment is echoed by Jeremiah and Malachi.
Job 31 When Job’s friends see his suffering and wrongly assume that he has committed unrighteousness, they accuse him of neglecting the widow and the orphan. Job’s makes the case for his righteousness by recounting his track record of caring for the single mother and her children. Job and his three unworthy friends all recognize how strongly God values the care of the widow and orphan and how central it is to acceptable worship.
James 1:27 Sums up the connection between worship and the care of single moms and their children with these words:” Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.”
http://www.kidscreen.com/articles/news/20091009/smartypants.html
Nintendo’s Wii and DS have topped market research and Norfolk, Connecticut-based consulting firm Smarty Pants’ list of 100 Most Loved Brands of 2009.
With kids participating in more than US$500 billion in consumer spending every year, Smarty Pants president Wynne Tyree notes that the top brands aren’t traditional “for kids only” brands, with many of them not marketed directly to kids.
Rounding out the top 10 are Oreo, McDonald’s, M&Ms, Doritos, Nickelodeon, Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, Cheetos and Disney.
Smarty Pants also conducted a Young Love study among 4,700 US kids and parents, and brands that scored with the six to 12 set delivered on quality family time, age-appropriate content, parent-approved indulgence, variety/choice, accessible “cool” and chatter-worthy advertising.
Brands like Nickelodeon and McDonald’s, which appeal to kids and tweens across gender received the highest brand affinity scores and usage. Brands that allow kids to connect with their families were also at the top.
For more info, check out www.asksmartypants.com.
“Shift”, by Dr. Brian Haynes, is Group Publishing’s latest offering for family ministry. (Prior offerings include the FaithWeaver Curriculum and the book “The Family Friendly Church”). This is a slim book that offers an alternate, but not contradictory, model to the Orange movement. Instead of offering a curriculum to get all the families in the church to discuss the same Biblical truths each week, or attempting to gather them for monthly inter-generational worship experiences, Shift offers a “mile stone” model.
The idea is that during the course of most families lives there are seven point where they are most interested in being resourced and supported by the church. These milestones are:
- The birth of a baby
- Faith commitment of a child
- Preparing for adolescence
- Commitment to purity
- Passage to adulthood
- High school graduation
- Life in Christ
Haynes suggest that the thrust of family ministry needs to be connecting with families these moments of high interest. Even the busiest parent wants their infant dedicated or baptized; they want their child to make a decision to follow Christ; and they want to know how to keep their child sexually pure. By meeting parents at their greatest points of need, we have the greatest opportunity to remind them of the Biblical mission of parenting. Before each milestone, the church is provides training for parents so they understand the importance and spiritual significance of each milestone. And they equip the families to create their own unique family celebration after the event.
Haynes lays out this strategy and the foundational Bible passages within the first 50 pages. The rest of his book is outlines each milestone and a brief description of how it looks at his church. We see who the milestone champion is, a description of the milestone event, and the suggested post-milestone celebration. The reader has a basic understanding of how to replicate the event in his or her own church.
“Shift” offers a sustainable model for family ministry, but there were some missing elements in the book:
- I was disappointed that there was no discussion on how to achieve alignment across departments. Most mid-sized churches and larger are departmentalized into children, youth, and adult ministries and are managed by an executive pastor. “Shift” lacks help on how to bring those departments into alignment so the strategy can occur. Any family ministry model needs pulpit support as well. A blue print for achieving this alignment is one of the strengths of Reggie Joiner’s “Think Orange.” I recommend grabbing this book as a companion to “Shift.” Yes, “Think Orange” prescribes a different model of family ministry, but the leadership wisdom transfers.
- “Shift” is a book begging for followup resources. I hope the good folk at Group are cooking up resource kits for each milestone. Milestone champions would benefit from having scripts for each milestone, promotional resources, and event production time lines. “Shift” is stronger as an introductory book than it is a stand alone volume.
Even with these limitations, “Shift” is a commendable book. It belongs in the family ministry conversation. As I noted above, I hope that is just the first in a long line of resources to support the model.
You can click here to take a peek inside the book.
Don Miller has finally written a book for me. I’ve never traveled across the country in a van seeking God. At this phase of my life, married with three boys, a trip like this would cost me my faith. So “Traveling Through Painted Deserts” was a great read, but it didn’t resonate with me. I enjoyed the writing in “Blue Like Jazz”, but I was in my mid-thirties when the book came out. I had already made my peace with church. “Searching for God Knows What” was great romp through (a basically) Reformed theology; think Luther with more Emotional Intelligence and pogram-free. I spent a lot of time reading and rereading “To Own a Dragon” for a project I was working on with The Mentoring Project. But I had and have a great dad. It wasn’t my story.
“A Million Miles in a Thousand Years” is Miller’s first work that connect with me on a deep emotional level. Don writes about a time in his life when he had completed the ambitions of his life. He lived in Portland and a had written a NYT’s best selling book. After achieving those goals, Don become rudderless and began drifting through his day. I have accomplished none of those things on Don’s list, but I did, somehow, marry above my level, become a pastor, a dad, and have written a few books of my own. I understand what it means to outlive your goals. And I understand what it means to lack the courage to set a new higher bar.
Miller’s doldrums were interrupted when two film makers approached him about adapting Blue Like Jazz into a movie. Don quickly grasped that “adaptation” was a euphemism for wholesale change. “Screen Play Don” looked nothing like “Real Don.” Don realized his life was becoming small and uninspiring. The process of screen writing forced Don to study the elements of story, namely the character arc. Don decided to experiment. What would happen if he applied the principles behind a great story to his own life?
Don answers that question with the rest of his book. In his own disarming way, Don invites the readers to live the same experiment in our own lives.
I’ve read “A Million Miles” twice. The first time I focused on his story, but found myself distracted by the strength of the writing. There are several passages where Don’s writing is transcendent. I was like the kid who stops the magician to ask “how’d you do that?” After much delay, I decided to pick that task up on the second read. What I discovered, though, on the second read was that the narrative still gripped me and that I had a hard time dissecting the writing. Don still offers his conversational tone and simple sentences. But this time, he’s pushing the same buttons in me that are pushed when I read Hemingway, Fitzgerald, or Lamott.
This isn’t a perfect book. Don introduces a few new literary tricks late in the book. Two thirds of the way into the book, one realizes that the writing has changed somewhat. One chapters features cinematic scene changes between Don kayaking and a crotchety professor lecturing. The chapter works. I can imagine watching the scene changes on the big screen. But this technique doesn’t show up until 180 pages into the book. I was distracted some. That’s a nit-pick. It didn’t distract from the over all enjoyment of the book.
There’s also some philosophical tensions in the book. Don’s premise is Christian existentialism– you are a (lower cased) creator, so create, and invent your life into a great story. But there are passages where Don admits that he is being written, even as he writes. This tension is no fault of Don’s. The Apostle Paul lived with the tension between God’s writing and ours in these two verses: “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling; because it is God is at work in you.”
This is my favorite of Don’s books. I suspect that Don will win over the over-forty crowd with this book. Everyone, regardless of age, wrestles with meaning. Don’s struggle provides hope for all.
Social Media Stats: Watch the videos now, the stats will change radically in two months
Danielle, our Communications Director, forwarded these to staff to prepare us for a meeting this afternoon. What it and think about how you will context to today’s parents.
One of my newer hats is leading our Adult Education Department. We call it “Equip” here. We’re pulling a page from our children’s ministry and giving the adults a Weekly Challenge. No matter what class an adult takes, he or she will be challenged to try one of five application steps during the week. The following week, the class will review how their experiences went and if that “spiritual discipline” is a good ergonomic fit to the shape of their life. If not, they discard it. If so, they are encourage to incorporate it into the rhythm of their life.
Joy wrote these challenges for a curriculum we are using produced by www.bluefishtv.com. The course is called “Parenting: The Early Years.”
1. Discuss your marriage with your spouse in regards to the “triangle.” Single parents: Reflect on your relationship with the Lord, is he the center of your family and decisions.
2. Try and have 60 seconds of “reconnect time” with your spouse at the end of the day before evening activities. Single parents: Give your self 2-3 minutes of quiet before engaging the kids.
3. Pick one of the “Ten Character Traits for Parents” to concentrate on this week.
4. Discuss with your spouse if there is any unfinished business between the two of you (ie. Child rearing, finances, plans, slights, grudges). Single Parents: Make a plan to get alone and recharge yourself.
5: Other: (Craft your own next step):
Joy, good job! Love how you were sensitive to single parents.
Insightful Article on the Need for Christian Children in Public Schools
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question, “Where should my children be educated?” I do appreciate the calm tone and the realization that children can be salt and light in the world.
http://burnsidewriters.com/2009/09/17/why-public-school-is-the-bomb/
Ok. Swine Flu hysteria wears me out. Children’s ministries should already be prepared because we already have “Well Baby Nurseries”, universal precautions, regular sanitizing of toys…etc.
So some humor. NPR has a brilliant list of suggestion for alternate greetings that we can use on Sunday. http://www.npr.org/news/graphics/2009/may/gimmefive/
Try this: forward this to your Elder Board with a straight face and ask them to enact one of those suggestions.
